Managing Emotions

Managing Emotions

Although some people may never admit to them, everyone experiences some type of emotion. Whether anticipating grades, handling family or just being alone, all these scenarios involve some type of emotion. Willingness to deal with emotions signals your forward direction in life. Following are topics discussed on this page:

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Emotional Intelligence

A number of emotions that students encounter are anger, fear, boredom, happiness, sadness and tension. Others emotions include desire, shame and guilt. Everyone experiences these feelings at times. It’s how emotions are channeled that makes a difference. Being overwhelmed by these emotions is what usually leaves students feeling powerless.

Learning to manage stress is an important step in learning how to manage emotions. Unchecked stress can cause health problems and illness. Although a little stress may be a good motivator from time to time, it is often the day-to-day stresses that build up over time that can affect school work and health

Following are ten things that can be done to manage emotions:

Get enough rest.
Eat a balanced diet.
Exercise regularly.
Talk to some one you trust.
Learn to solve problems (this builds confidence).
Listen to your “self talk.”
Get all the facts before you act.
Take a mini mind vacation.
Help somebody else; get involved.
Seek help.

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Following are few steps you can take to manage your emotions:

Identify Your Emotions

Learning to recognize what emotion you are feeling is a very first important step.

For example, a person may be jealous that another classmate has performed better on a test. Recognizing jealous feelings and then putting them to good use by becoming motivated to study and do better on the next test is one way to handle the situation. Another way (negative) to handle the feeling would be to talk about the person and imply that he or she must be getting special favors from the instructor. Well that’s a way to channel emotions, but it’s not helping anyone. The energy it takes to be jealous can be reformed into healthy competition. Even though there’s no race, a person who is busy studying does not have time for jealousy and is moving in the right direction

Determine the source of the feeling(s)

If you are in an argumentative mood, is it because you are really mad or you want to express other emotions (e.g. jealousy, desire or fear)?

Once the feeling is identified, own up to it; don’t deny it.

You don’t have to tell everybody how you feel, but being honest with yourself can help you to deal directly with emotions instead of creating more stress by hiding them.

Avoid accusing

To keep the peace in a semi-professional setting like school, try to avoid making “you” statements. For instance, saying to a person, “you think you are better than everyone else.” Whether the statement is true or not, the person will get defensive and maybe confrontational as well. Using I-statements can convey the truth without accusing. Click here for an example of an I-statement.

Take control

You are the master of your feelings. Although emotions may be hard to control at times, only you know how much you are willing to take. When a situation gets “heavy,” it’s best to walk away from it if you feel an outburst on the horizon. Sometimes, blowing your cool has consequences that you may find difficult to recover from.

Taking control of your emotions does not always mean you get to win. Some advice on dealing with anger from Brigham Young University’s website states there are a number of ways we can deal with anger, which include the following:

Go directly to the person we are angry with and try to settle our differences before getting other people involved.

Give in occasionally rather than always having to be right.

Resist correcting someone who has an incorrect understanding about something. We can do this by asking ourselves, "Does it really matter in the long run?" and "Will it do more damage than good for me to show him or her that they are wrong?"

Just let go

Emotional Intelligence

Learning to deal with emotions is not simple. Recognizing your own feelings and considering the feeling of others are referred to as emotional intelligence. It is important to understand your emotions first before you can understand other people’s emotions.

The term Emotional Intelligence encompasses the following five characteristics and abilities:

Researchers have concluded that people who manage their own feelings well and deal effectively with others are more likely to live content lives. Plus, happy students are likely to retain information and do so more effectively than unhappy students.

If these strategies don’t work for you, try the advice of a doctor who has entitled his article “The Incredible Shrinking Relatives.” Although the advice is intended for a certain audience, lessons about emotional detachment can apply to anyone.

Remember, you are the master of your own emotions. As quoted by Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Knowledge is power, and knowledge of yourself is power. To foster healthy relationships remember the following:

First Year Experience The University of Minnesota Duluth’s advice to students about managing emotions.